Chapter 6: Digging Up the Past

McKinsey generally spends the mornings alone in his office, but he won’t have that luxury today. Not after what I read last night. Once he knows what we found, he’s going to want to devote as much time and energy as possible to getting to the bottom of this.

I walk down the hallway to McKinsey’s office and knock on the door. He waits a moment before telling me to come in. I can tell he’s annoyed, but when he sees me walk through the door, his face brightens up.

“Ah, just the person I wanted to see,” he says to my surprise. “I had Kelly schedule a press conference for this afternoon. After last night’s news segment, I wanted the city to know our office has already been working on this issue, that we’ve taken the missing ludds seriously from the very beginning. It’ll be great press for us.”

His last comment leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but I’m glad he’s in such a good mood. With a press conference planned and McKinsey ready to share our progress, everything can hopefully be resolved soon.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” I say. He motions for me to sit, so I do. “I’ve been looking into the missing ludds like you asked, and I’ve found something big.” He leans forward and rubs his hands together.

“Well, what is it?” he asks. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

“I think Smith Capital is somehow involved in the … disappearances.” I hesitate to call them kidnappings because we don’t know what they are yet, but that’s looking more and more to be the case.

McKinsey remains still, his face unchanged. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Finally, he stands up slowly from his desk and walks behind me. He crosses the room and shuts the door before turning around to face me.

“When you took this job,” he says, “did you notice that our office pays substantially higher than the other councilmembers?” His question catches me off guard.

“I, I didn’t pay attention, to be honest,” I say. “I was more interested in the work than the pay.” McKinsey slowly paces to my left, his hands behind his back.

“When elections roll around every four years, do you ever wonder how we’re able to put up so many ads?” I remain silent, following his movement back to his desk.

“Paying my team well, campaigning to win, that all requires money. And do you know who one of our biggest donors is?” He looks me right in the eyes, his face a slab of granite. My stomach drops and my hands go cold. I can feel my heartbeat in my ears.

“Smith Capital?” I finally say. The words sound like a cannon shot in the quiet room.

“Smith Capital,” he repeats as he claps his hands together. “And do you know what we’ve accomplished in the ten years I’ve been in office?” I don’t respond. My voice is buried somewhere deep inside me. “The crime rate is the lowest it’s been since Capital City was founded, we have more business than ever before, and the city is growing beyond what we’d ever imagined. Now, I don’t want to sound conceited, but I’ve been a vital part of these accomplishments. So, it’s safe to say that, without me on the city council, Capital City wouldn’t be the great success it is today.”

McKinsey leans on his desk and crosses his legs. He’s only inches away from me, his presence claustrophobic.

“All of this is to say that, if it got out that our office was baselessly accusing Smith Capital of being involved in these disappearances, we’d undoubtedly lose their patronage. Which means I’d have to fire some employees, and I’d probably lose my seat next election, as well. Which means me and you,” he says, pointing between us, “wouldn’t be able to do the good work we’re doing for my constituents. Not to mention, the city definitely wouldn’t survive the scandal. Capital City is built on the success of that company. Any ramifications would punish everyone who lives here. Do you really want that?”

He looks at me as if he’s asked a sincere question. His face is the same as always, but I notice something sinister in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. Or maybe I didn’t want to see before. I swallow before answering.

“Of course not,” I say, maintaining eye contact. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“Good,” he says with forced cheeriness, “I’m glad to hear it.” He stands up and walks back behind his desk.

“Now,” he says, picking up a stack of papers. “Let’s move you to a different project. I remember on your application you said you’re interested in LGBTQ activism, yes?” I nod. “Perfect,” he says. “How about you join our LGBTQ outreach team. You’ve done fantastic work so far on this ludd project; I’m sure they could use some of your insight and initiative.” He smiles and taps the papers on his desk until they’re neat and even. “I’ll have Kelly switch your assignments later today.” He crosses his arms, indicating he’s done with the conversation, so I get up.

“Thank you,” I say, trying to sound as grateful as possible. “I’m excited for the new project.” He smiles again, and I turn around and leave the room. I press my hands hard into my legs to stop them from shaking. I keep walking until I make it to the bathroom, where I splash cold water on my face and try to gather myself.

McKinsey didn’t even want to know what details I had on Smith Capital. He didn’t care to even know why I thought they were involved.

They had the names of all the ludds who’ve disappeared so far. Leo found a document in Jayde’s archives that listed the names of every single missing ludd.

They had a fucking hit list.

And Smith Capital didn’t even care about hiding it. They knew, even if the list did get out, that they had people like McKinsey to deflect blame, to protect them.

I grip the edge of the bathroom counter until my knuckles turn white. I look at myself in the mirror.

McKinsey clearly isn’t going to help these ludds, but that doesn’t mean I can’t.

And I know exactly what to do next.

* * *

It wasn’t hard to track down Alex—her information was still in McKinsey’s employee database. I never thought I’d be contacting the woman whose job I took, but that’s hardly the strangest thing that’s happened to me recently. When I reached out to her, she was skeptical at first, but I eventually convinced her to meet with me.

I’ve tried getting in touch with Leo, but he’s not answering any of my messages. I tried on the regular channel as well as the ludd channel, but he hasn’t responded. I try not to let that bother me; we’ve gone months without talking before. But dread bubbles in my stomach whenever I think about it. Now’s not the time for my ludd brother to go quiet on me.

I’m sitting in a small café about three hundred miles from Capital City, in a rural little town where Alex lives with her parents. I’m currently in the body of a woman one year younger than me, and I’m still getting used to it. I’ve bodyswapped plenty of times before, but it always takes some time to adjust. I look at my reflection in the window, the short brown hair and freckled face unfamiliar.

A sharp “hello” pulls me from my observation, and I look to my left to see Alex. She’s shorter than I imagined, but her face is exactly the same as the picture in her file. She sits down at the table and folds her arms across her chest. Her raven black hair is pulled into a tight ponytail, and she’s wearing a white shirt and jean shorts.

“So,” she says bluntly, “you wanted to meet? You said it was urgent?”

“I have some questions about McKinsey,” I say, getting to the point. “I want to know why you left.” She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Is that what they say happened?” There’s an edge to her voice now. “That I ‘decided to leave’?” I nod, and she rolls her eyes again and slaps her hands on the table. “That’s definitely not what happened.”

“Then what did happen?” I ask. When I’d interviewed for the job, they’d made it sound like Alex had unexpectedly quit for no reason. But after what I saw yesterday with McKinsey, I’m not surprised they’d bent the truth.

Alex squints her eyes, like she’s trying to get a better look at me.

“You found something, didn’t you?” she says. The certainty in her voice makes me shiver. How did she know?

“Nothing about McKinsey,” I say, careful not to reveal too much. I have to remind myself that I just met Alex; I don’t know anything about her. “But I didn’t like how he reacted to it.”

“Well, whatever you do with the information, be careful.” The warning hangs in the air, and I wait for her to continue. She leans forward and places her elbows on the table, resting her chin in her hands. She looks me right in the eyes. “I didn’t quit at McKinsey’s office,” she says. “They forced me out. I stumbled across some concerning documents,” she continues, “and when I confronted McKinsey about it, he told me it was above my paygrade. Told me not to worry.”

She slumps back in her chair as if suddenly exhausted. For the first time, I notice the dark bags under her eyes. She looks tired. Worn out. “Naturally, I didn’t like that answer, so I kept digging. But when McKinsey found out, he fired me. And he made sure I couldn’t get work anywhere else in the city. That’s why I had to move back here with my parents.” Her voice is bitter, like she’s spitting out battery acid. Her expression has returned to anger, her eyebrows pushed together and her mouth set in a firm line.

“What did you find?” I ask. She looks at me like I just asked if she could fly.

“Like hell if I’ll say,” she says. I’m surprised by her sudden animosity. She registers my shock and leans in closer. “Selene, I don’t think you understand. McKinsey ruined my life. I’d worked for years to get a job like that, and he took it all away in a matter of days.” She looks around then pushes her face even closer to mine. I find myself getting drawn in. Her voice is low when she speaks again.

“He threatened to have me arrested. He said I’d illegally accessed classified government documents. As if I didn’t have access to everything he worked on. I’m lucky to even be here,” she says, pulling away and gesturing around to the quiet street. “It’s not what I wanted, but it’s better than prison.”

“Please,” I say, “you have to help me.” I decide to trust Alex. “Have you been following the news about the missing ludds in Capital City?” She nods, her curiosity piqued. “I found evidence that Smith Capital might be involved in it.” Her face goes pale, and I wait for her response.

“I don’t know what you found,” she says, “but going up against Smith and McKinsey is never going to work.” A sad smiles plays on her face. “Trust me. Whatever you found, it won’t matter. They’ll find a way to bury it, and then they’ll find a way to bury you.”

Her response shatters my heart. I need something else, something more. This can’t be the end. Yes, Smith and McKinsey are powerful, but justice has to win. I can’t just do nothing, not with the information I know. I set my jaw, forcing myself not to slip into the pit of despair that’s opened up inside me.

“No,” I say, “I refuse to believe that. People want to know the truth. People want to know what’s happening.” Alex smirks then, to my surprise, stands up.

“It’s your funeral,” she says, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She moves to walk away, but I stand up and grab her wrist, spinning her back around.

“Please, Alex,” I say, “you have to help.” Her face scrunches in anger and she rips loose from my grip.

“I don’t have to do anything,” she growls. “Working for McKinsey ruined my life. I’m trying to just accept that and move on. And I suggest you move on, too. It’s pointless to try and fight them.” She says the last part like it’s friendly advice instead of instructions to surrender. “It was nice meeting you, Selene,” she says, her voice softer now. “Good luck.”

I let her walk away, too numb to do anything else.